I don’t know how many times I’ve heard someone in the recovery community say, “Well he/she just hasn’t hit rock bottom yet”. I’ve always thought to myself. What does “rock bottom” look like anyway? Is it prison time? Is it homelessness? Is it losing your family? Is it getting caught? Do you have to be dirty, nasty, and smelly to hit rock bottom? Is there a place called rock bottom that people are actually hitting? What is rock bottom and what does one need to look like to hit it?
Well let me tell you, after working with hundreds of addicts the past few years I can confidently say… I have no idea.
I really don’t. I have no clue. I have found no way to identify if someone has hit rock bottom, no glaring marker or checklist that can precisely qualify a person.
What I have found is this: rock bottom is different for everyone. And if that is the case, then why are we trying to guess when a person has or hasn’t hit it?
For the most part, I looked relatively normally at my rock bottom. I had a good job, I made great money, I went to church, I had a pretty girlfriend, I lived in a decent house, and I drove a nice car. Those are relatively material signs, but if you didn’t know me you would have no clue I was full-fledged, 50-pill-a-day drug addict. I was a fairly high-functioning addict who, from the world’s point of view was nowhere near rock bottom.
So how can you tell?
An addict’s rock bottom is about as camouflaged as a Duck Dynasty cast member on Saturday morning during duck season. They are impossible to find and none look the same. So instead of using that as some type of crutch or justification to accept unacceptable behavior, we should use it as a catalyst to intervene early and often.
We can force a rock bottom. It is possible. We can say enough is enough. We can take away privileges, money, and freedom. We can force treatment, change the locks and turn off the phone. We can fire someone; cut them out of the family business, ban them from our facility or look at them right in the eyes and tell them that today is the day something changes.
You see all of these instances I just listed are actually examples from situations I dealt with just this last week alone. Families all across the country and are constantly faced with these dilemmas. When do we force the rock bottom? How do we really help? It’s terribly difficult, but to help an addict find their rock bottom the examples I listed are the things that need to be done.
And yes I know that sometimes we do these things and nothing changes.
And yes I know that sometimes we do these things and people still let us down.
And yes I know that sometimes we do these things and people still die.
I know this because that also happened this last week as well. And it sucks. It hurt me. I cried and I’m angry over it.
But at least the parents tried everything they could to save their son. They forced rock bottom roughly a year ago and the son made it to treatment. He had a shot. He found some hope.
For whatever reason it didn’t work. He didn’t make it. But instead of waiting on the elusive rock bottom they chose to act. They chose to step in and elevate rock bottom to give their son one last bout with addiction.
If you telling yourself you should wait to intervene until someone hits rock bottom, I urge you to stop. You have a say in defining rock bottom. So why not here? Why not now?
There’s nowhere to go but up.