If I had to sum up my ten years of drug addiction in just a couple words I’d say…”My Way”. That’s really the simplest way to put it. It was My Way all the time, 24/7/365 and nothing or nobody was going to stop me.
My Way thinking dominated each day. I was always looking to play an angle or manipulate a situation to ensure My Way was carried out. It didn’t matter who you were or how much it may hurt you, I was going to get My Way.
I’d lie to your face, steal from your bathroom, pawn your jewelry or rob your house to get My Way. I was on a mission to get My Way.
As hard as this concept may seem to normal people, I’ve found that this My Way thinking, is a trait I share with my fellow addicts/alcoholics. It seems we all used to share the same mantra…

“I want what I want, when I want it!”

And sadly we typically got it.
An old high school friend messaged me a few days ago and in no uncertain words said this…“I’m really messed up and all your hope stuff is messing with my mind”. We went on to chat for a while and he asked me to be honest with him about what really changed. He said, “no God stuff, no bible, no BS, how did you really do it?”
At first I tried to answer his question directly. I worked hard to craft a message of hope that didn’t include God. But after five minutes of typing and deleting, typing and deleting, I finally just stopped and said….
“There isn’t another way. It’s all God. Hope is found at the moment we come to the end of ourselves and realize that on our own we will destroy everything in our lives including ourselves.” I went on to tell him how one day I finally had enough self-induced pain to give up My Way and reluctantly start letting someone else take control. That someone else was God. I explained how by turning over my life to the care of God, things started slowly turning around. How I began to see that God loved me right where I was and was willing to help me clean up the mess I had made.
You see finding sobriety is a journey that requires you to lose your current self so that you can find your true self. But the trick is, the only way you start to do this is by choosing to believe that a power greater than yourself loves you enough to protect along the way. Because recovery is a really scary road. It’s full of new emotions, over-flowing with fear and sandwiched between loads of doubt. But its worth it.
For years My Way thoughts, actions and intentions dominated my life. The result was utter destruction. Today I fully recognize that My Way doesn’t work. In no way, shape or form, is My Way, any way to live. So I put my full trust in God and allow Him to do for me what I can’t do for myself.
If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction today, share this blog with them. Encourage them to reach out to us at Hope is Alive Ministries. We are here to help.
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-Hope is Alive