Yesterday we began a new series here on LanceLang.com entitled: “How To Know If Your Child Is Using Drugs“. We discussed intuition, denial and learned that when it comes to discerning the truth, trusting your gut is the best place to start! If you happened to miss it, you can read all of Part 1 of this 3 part series here.
Today in part 2 we talk about what to do after that gut feeling begins to sound off. These next few suggestions should be taken seriously, don’t just gloss over, picking one or two out that seem to fit your disposition or current parent to child relationship. I understand that the waters of drug use can be dark and scary, but by following these suggestions you’ll be able to wade into these waters with a much needed life preserver to help keep you afloat.
“How To Know If Your Child Is Using Drugs”
Part 2
The Proof is in the Pee – So you’re intuition is sounding the alarm. You can feel it in your gut that something’s just quire right, but your child is adamantly denying any wrong doing and you can’t seem to find any tangible proof. Well nothing answers the “What is going on?” question quite like the undeniable proof a drug test provides. If you really want to know what’s going on, run over to Wal-Mart, pick up their standard $35 12-panel drug test and find out. Will it cause some friction? Could a fight break out? Yes. I won’t sugar-coat it. This will be tough conversation to say the least. But within 10 minutes you will know what’s really going on and that knowledge will be worth it. Because when you really know what’s going on you can begin to take the proper next steps.
This is the kind of accountability you need to be establishing with any child that’s using or beginning to experiment with drugs or alcohol. By doing this you’re letting your child know that this is a serious issue and that your family will be taking a hard stance against this kind of behavior.
But before you run out and follow this tip, make sure rea my next one.
Get a Plan – So you work through the tough conversation, they take the test and it comes back positive. Now what do you do? Do you have a plan? As parents have you discussed the consequences? If you’re separated have you discussed this with the child’s other parent? Do you all agree? What do you plan to take away? Is it time to send them to treatment? If so, where? (Email me if you need suggestions at [email protected])
These are questions you need to have answered before the results come back. Make sure you sit down and plan out what the next steps for your child if they are in fact using. Any hesitation will give your kid a way out. If they see a chink in the armor or any division among the parents they will most likely pounce on it like they did when they were toddlers running from mommy to daddy until they go their way. You don’t want that. So be ready to engage the plan, enforce the consequences and enact tough love. And remember its for their sake, NOT yours. You’re not trying to punish them, you’re trying to help them. Keep that in mind and it will save you years and years of heartache and probably a whole lot of money too.
Another thing to remember is this. Once you lay down the law, hold fast to it. No letting them off the hook lightly or allowing them to talk you out of a pre-determined plan of action. Giving in to their way at this point is called enabling and that’s basically a one way ticket to rehab.
I know many of your minds are rolling now and probably some of you are thinking… “I have no idea what type of consequence I should laid down.” That’s ok. You’re not alone. That’s why you need to check on my next tip.
Get Professional Help – Have you ever heard the phrase, “It takes a village”? Well when it comes to overcoming drug addiction this phrase certainly rings true. No one is strong enough or smart enough to successfully overcome this issue on their own. So don’t even try. There’s a reason why God created counselors, He knew we would need their help, so use them. It’s not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of intelligence. Licensed drug and alcohol counselors can provide addiction assessments, therapy, direct you to proper medication and generally guide you down this treacherous path. (Contact HIA for a list of recommended counselors)
But the professional help is not just limited to the drug user. It’s also available for YOU the parent. That’s right, there are tons of great resources to help you learn more about the disease of addiction, the struggles of parenting an addict, enabling, codependency and every other issues that comes along with this issue. But most importantly there are several great support groups consisting of other parents just like you who have or who are struggling with children who are using drugs or alcohol.
At Hope is Alive Ministries, we help to connect parents with the right resources. So if you currently have questions, concerns, need some advice or just need someone to listen. Then reach out, we are here to help. Fill out this form to get started.
As I mentioned in closing yesterday, this topic is very challenging and full of emotion. Often times a parents response to a drug issue plays a big role in the child’s development and subsequent choices. Make sure you check back with me tomorrow to get some tips on proper ways to communicate and respond when dealing with a child using drugs.
If I can ever help, don’t hesitate to reach out. Here is my email: [email protected] and a link to the books I’ve written about my addiction.
Hope is Alive!!